Don't Look Back, Don't Look Down, Stay Real Still...I'm Not Around

OK.

What to say? The dilemmas of the day:

1) Work continues to kick my ass. I don't know how to be cool about it.
I just get yelled at all day. I really like solving other's problems, but I got no gas left. I was surly on Friday. Seriously, I told people that. 'Don't talk to me, I'm surly'.

2) Filled out FMLA paperwork today for the mom. Shit.
She goes in for surgery on the 27th. I really don't know what to say.

3) New boy is freaking me out.
I like him. I'm good at liking him. He sleeps at my house once a week. He's going through shit, I'm going through shit - but he looked so peaceful on Saturday night. He was beautiful.
I don't need beauty in my companionship right now. I need some fun. I know that I can't mean that much to him - nor he to me. We both have too much baggage. But there is just the little things that make my day. He's super hurt by his ex - I'm super over my ex and I need to figure myself out. How do I deal with this?
I was digging the luck of finding him. Of being honest. We argue politics, topics of the day, music and sports. I go do stuff. I volunteered for the Chididirod on Saturday - he met me at the Hideout after. He had a crap day. I listened. He blew people off to be with me. I like being safe for him - but is he safe for me?

4) March is my second least favorite month.
The god damn birthdays. I swear. Dad is wednesday. Sis is next week. Then mom surgery. Then mom birthday. Then p's anniversary. Let's celebrate while I am freaking out!

5) I owe money. I owe money. I owe money.
I applied for a weekend job at the coffee shop yesterday. I am totally overqualified. I look in awe at my expensive clothes and thank my lucky stars that I was foolish enough to purchase them when I did - I won't be able to anytime in the near future. Shit, I'm in the apple store blogging. I seem to find a way. We owe the IRS $2000 (i'm responsible for $800). All of my friends & family are like I shouldn't pay. He got everything - legally he owes me. But I just want to take care of my crap and get out of the relationship completely. He still owes my parents $3000.
I hate money.

But I write. I volunteer for shopping cart races. My girl won the Oscar for 'Constant Gardener' and made a great speech about LeCarre standing up for people with ideals (!). I got a Lollapalooza ticket for $65. There are things a changing - and there are things a scary.

The Magic Numbers are coming to the Double Door on 4/1. I'll be there.