be very very quiet

I'm sorry Mr. Blog. (Does this blog have a gender?) It is not that I do not love you - it is that there has been a internet crackdown.

However I have worked my booty off this week and I'm savoring the first silence in weeks to update this blog that only I read.

Work is hard. I've lived here this week.

Mom is sick. She is having surgery on her spine (!) and will be out for 3 months.

New boy is still cute. We spend like 2 nights/week together. Lotsa e-mails and good kisses. He made me dinner last night - I was a total stress monkey. It was just so nice to talk about politics, books, music, place - things I was interested in. I got excited about a passage in a book and read it to him. He didn't think I was a dork. Actually he jumped me after that. So the opposite of normal. I'm usually the one doing the jumping. He's also so different. He likes to be in charge of things. He was the president of his condo association - because he wanted to be. So out of my realm of thinking. It's refreshing. Though he tells me that I'm fascinating - which I am unsure how to interpret. I'm going with it and having a good time.

Crazy mean Grandma got a puppy for her birthday. That thing is so damn cute I don't know what to think. It is the perfect gift - it might prevent her from judging others all the time.

I got to housesit for my dog. He was wonderful. It was really weird to be in the old place though. The ex has trashed it - no, not trashed. I just think it was nicer when I was there. I did things like clean the bathtub. Unfortunately it was so cold that weekend so my dog and I didn't get to play outside like I wanted to. I dreamt about him last night. He was running with a tennis ball in his mouth. He looked happy.

It is odd to dream about dogs.

The ex is being difficult. I wanted to help - I wanted to see my dog. I think I brought up hope. How can I be kind (which I want to be) without promising the future? He is still so damn selfish. We owe $2000 (!) to the IRS. I had to argue with him that I did not do this to him. He did not take enough money out of his paycheck. The tax code under Dubya screws people who don't have a house and don't reproduce. It's pretty simple. We had to pay someone $100 to tell us this. I told him this last year and he never believed me. However, we did get $120 back from the state. I hate the president. His behavior just reinforced to me why I left. I can not be responsible for everything. Bad news will not lead to homelessness. His immediate reaction was that he would be evicted and would have to give up the dog. I told him that maybe we could figure out a payment plan.

It's amazing how less stressed I am without him.

So, I'm applying for a weekend job at the coffee shop around the corner. I figure that will help. The therapist is excited b/c she thinks it will make me more social.

I'm also volunteering at the Chididerod this weekend. I have to make people stay in a bar for 20 minutes. Then I get a free show at the Hideout.

I love the Hideout.

I like declaritive statements.