no more missed connections for me...

internet crackdown at work!!

what am i going to do? i gave up the ages-old iMac in the separation. i have no internet access at home. that's it - i shall blog at the apple store after work.

that's sad.

i think the illicit boy and i probably made them aware of the craigslist thing. unless somebody else there is sending mysterious messages...then again i imagine it's the illicit boy sometimes. especially when it's thoughtful and witty.

i have one of his personals from a while back. it reeked of something i would be attracted to.

i am a zombie today because i stayed up last night to write a 10 page letter to my friend who moved to Oregon. right after she left town i threw in the towel with the husband. i haven't talked to her since. i was quite confessional. unfortunately her husband is the ex's best friend. so that could blow up in my face. we'll see. i miss her lots - i don't have many friends you know.

the therapist told me that i have to work on that one.

i still haven't told her that i made out with another boy.

oh - and one of my new favorite canadian bands is coming to metro on 2/17/05...but the sis can't enjoy their beauty because she is co-opting herself to go to a wedding in CT w/ the 'boy she must marry and smother until he can't breathe'. my quote of the day from the sis:

'it's damon's birthday and i can't go - well he's in a wedding and i don't know if i'm going with him but i can't go because it's damon's birthday.'

stars would be a hot birthday present. rock that trancends mere mortals is a good birthday gift.

my new favorite lyrics:

i'm back in gym and it's the same

as my name tag floats away

i had six too many drinks last night

and that's why i made you stay

plus i always wanted you

you liked to rock it in your car

you said you didn't understand me

because i always tried to see you too far

tainted love's too fast to dance to

so let's leave them all behind

they hated us with everything they had

and we hated them in kind

i'm so easy - if someone said to me once 'plus - i've always wanted you...' that's it - i'm done. direct, purposeful and not an excuse.

i'm quite the word slut.

my favorite christmas gift to myself so far: re-reading the Mandarins. i know it's not the best of ideas, but i just love to read & hear those words. they are magic.

but i always get a little swoon-y and end up doing something to prove that i'm alive and sometimes that's not the greatest thing....

i think it's time to take up skydiving. that might be healthier than living in my head.