So this is what bottom feels like...

A lot less comfortable than you might expect.

Don't know quite what to say. Some scary stuff went down at work last week and I'm having a hard time getting over it. It's just not getting much better around here and I have to deal with a lot of stuff. I am so angry and scared and hurt by it right now. I want to like my job but I don't think I can anymore.

I hate disillusionment. Can't say this is the first time this has happened, unfortunately. I'm just not very good at it.

What else -

I'm now in debt to my boss $500...and i'm totally freaking out on her b/c MY JOB IS INSANE. However I need to pay her back so I don't know what the fuck to do. Actually I'll do my work, pay her back and go from there.

My doggie was sick again - and I gave him up. Ouch.

My family is crazy - and mean. Hey dad, how you doing?

My therapist is crazy. I said the weather was something going for me. I told her I was wishing aloud for it on Saturday. She had to remind me that I don't control the weather.

Whoa. I swear I've never claimed to. I'm enjoying the weather and recalling that I spoke aloud about it. Big Difference.

I'm not having sex. I much prefer my life when I'm having sex.

Oh - that guy for coffee last week. Nice guy - way to into wanting to be a politician though. Rich white boy do gooder. I'm so jaded.

I'm too excited for new episodes of Degrassi and House. Degrassi is so good - i'm actually liking Paige for the first time ever! I need her to get together w/ Alex. The stoner chick and the cheerleader making out! And Hugh Laurie is a total hottie. I've actually started renting Jeeves & Wooster. Though I loved him more as the head of MI-6 in the MI-5 first season. But as House he's so cute. Swoon.

Called the doc back today for the Zoloft. I figure I need to numb myself out of this.

I literally have no control over a ton of shitty situations. I have to keep reminding myself of that and i'll be OK. Really, it's not my fault. But I hate the fact that people who should be dealing just aren't. "Don't worry - she'll do it for you".

What would happen if I just didn't?