Stay me with flagons, comfort me with apples: for I am sick of love.

Song of Solomon...again why I prefer the Old Testament to the New. The OT can be dirty.

So much happening - yet words seem incapable of expressing my dilemmas.

I just found out that my Mom might not be as sick as we were expecting. Amongst the drama of my Grandmother having surgery, my mother started rapidly losing weight and had to go for a MRI on Saturday to find out if she had cancer. I just recieved a call that her scan was normal - however the rapid weight loss, low potassium and exaustion is unexplained.

I do not like my life right now. I feel really lonely and incapable of doing things to make it better. Right now I am so angry that the ex has my life - the life I begged for. He sent me an e-mail about becoming a member of the dog park and taking a class at Old Town. I'm in nowheresville and want to scream so loudly I could hurt someone.

I thought I made a friend via e-mail and he stopped talking to me when I told him everything that was going on.

I'm still in love with a boy who thinks I'm terrible. I hate that I still want him so much and he thinks so little of me.

I got hit on by a sleazy sheriff on Saturday morning trying to win WS tix @ NikeTown. I don't like that I am attractive to people like that.

I had a migrane yesterday and my dad was so pestering that he made me cry. And when I started crying I couldn't stop - for the rest of the day.

I am sick of love, sick of my life and sick of my situation. I wish I had a way to change it instantly and I don't. I know I have to work through this and I know that one day it may get better. It seems really futile right now.

I'm just really lonely and feel like I am terribly inconvienient. It makes me want to burrow and I have no where to do it. And my Arcade Fire was borrowed from the evil boy who won't talk to me anymore. And I can't afford more.

Blah, blah, blah....