Love is a Dangerous Thing

see above.

what I wanted to say to the stupid boys this week:

Dear Husband:

You spent 7 years telling me that my feelings were wrong, how I was failing our relationship, how I was interupting your television time.

When I was scared - you told me you didn't know what to do...

When I was diagnosed as depressed - you were angry that I would turn to meds instead of you...

When your family took our money, treated you with cruelness or 'forgot' to include you in things I picked you up - got angry with them - gave them money and you would scorn me for 'making you choose between your family and me'. I would never do that. After a year I gave in and decided to admire your love for them instead. I was disappointed in their behavior - however I admired the fierceness of your love for them. That was OK with me. You never believed me because their behavior was never OK with you....

I was happy with our life. You laid out all of the expectations that I could never fulfill. I got my apartment in the city and my dog. I didn't need much more than that.

Today is our anniversary. My parents threw you a fantastic wedding - that probably set up the problem in our relationship. You got so used to taking from us because we would give you everything. You thought you deserved it. But that was never my life....my family didn't do well until I met you. And they're grateful for their sucess and they're willing to share it. You never appreciated it. You just thought that you could take and take and take.

I really think you fell in love with them - never me. That I'm used to. It happens a lot. But I'm not going to be my mom nor my sister. I'm emotional, i'm bitter, i'm angry and i'm not a servant. You can't treat me like my dad treats my mom. I am happy about growing up to leave that.

That's all I can figure out right now. Oh well.

To the Boy who destroyed all of my credibility:

Fuck you.
Fuck you.
Fuck you.

Why? Because here I am with no cred because I chose your and you chose to be with me....and now you pretend it's the worst thing to ever happen to you.

You? You have your own apartment. That you fucked me in. You have a sweet job - even though you're having 'moral' issues with your manager. Give me a break - you work 3 days a week. Get over your damn self and grow up.

Not to mention I am still aghast at your complete lack of empathy....you're just cruel. And cruelty isn't very cute.

So to repeat some of my comments from earlier....

Fuck you.
Fuck you.
Fuck you.