So Sorry

Sorry blog.

I've been busy. Much music. Much work. Much baseball. I'm averaging sexual relations once a week.

Tomorrow is scary. It's the evil heart test thing. The family is coming to hold some sort of vigil. Let me get this straight, I leave the husband - basically homeless - I get passed around. I go in for a EP test they all take the day off.

Of course! It's not important unless I'm going to DIE. Quite stupido, eh?

I'll ponder later - but I figured I'd record for posterity.

Transcript

From last week...

Yesterday I got hooked up with an Event Monitor. I have an undiagnosed condition that can causes me to 'drop'. I just pass out mid-conversation. It's very exciting. It's happened to me at least 10 times in the past 15 years. I haven't had an episode in 10 years so I just thought it was due to puberty or something.

Last month I dropped at the Hideout. I'm very angry that I passed out during a show at one of my favorite places.

I've been cleared neurologically and gynecologically. My cardiac workup doesn't look so good. My dad has a condition that required him to get a pacemaker. It looks that I might have something similar. I am currently the youngest person in the the waiting room @ the Northwestern Cardiovascular Clinic - trust me. I wear a monitor the size of an iPod during all waking hours. I'm supposed to push a button when my heart feels 'weird'.

Friday I have to go to have 2 echocardiograms. This involves me not drinking caffeine for 12 hours. I don't think I've lived w/o morning coffee in 16 years.

Then I get the big stuff. Tilt tables and an EP test (basically a cardiac cath w/ shocking your heart to make sure it beats right).

My favorite part - I'm 31 years old. I am single for the first time in 10 years. My marriage ended last September and I've spent the last 10 months taking care of ill family members and trying to rebuild my life. I have a great new job, a new cute boy that I see once a week and my first apartment of my very own.

A 31 y.o. indie rock girl w/ a pacemaker isn't very sexy, is it?

Listening To Arthur Lee Records...

RIP.

Thank god CL isn't letting me post right now.

Lets Get Out of This Country

So much to say - however I want to link to a really good story.

2 Missing in Heat Wave

This is good journalism. 2 people who need help made it to the first links of the Trib this afternoon. I hope they're found. We always need to look out for our cool old ladies and disabled kids. I like that their names are 'Britt' and 'Mee Chee'.

Oy - need to post a Pitchfork review - later. Work is killing me. It was Eh.

Camera Obscura got postponed to Monday b/c the Logan Square electrical transformer blew up...whoops. However went on Monday and it was fabulous. Partied like I was 23. Lotsa beer, Horchata (?), tromping around the city in my heels, doing dirty things with the cute boy...a really good night.

What else? Sis & her boy couldn't make it on Sunday b/c he got food poisoning. OK. Haven't heard from her all week either...I don't get it. She is so not cool to me anymore. She tried to tell me stuff about the ex again. I had to shoot her down with a 'I saw him on Sunday' I think I know about this shit. New boy actually has a control freak theory about her. Might be right.

Have plans for the next 6 days and work is getting crazy outta control. Need to stop blogging, start working - right?

Things to play with - Carl Monday, Top Gear, Deadspin in General, etc...

That's No Way to Tell A Lie

OK - my lie is that I've been dizzy every day since Wednesday. It's managable now but it's not comfortable.

Eh. Maybe they can explain it on Friday.

Much work - stupid website.

What else? Had a lovely day with the cute boy on Sunday. You know what stops me from being dizzy? Gettin' it on. That I dig. I don't think it's the best cure - but it sure is fun.

I stayed late last night - hopefully I can get shit done today. Then again, I'm blogging.

Camera Obscura, Pitchfork this weekend. Viva Le Rock!

THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT. YOU MUST SEE A DOCTOR.

That I get...

However, when you tell me this and then leave me sitting in an office for over an hour - I'm not going to sit there anymore. Nope.

I don't care if I have cervical cancer. I can wait until Friday to find out. Really. Sit me on my ass on Friday. Not on a Monday where the panicky pregnant women will always be more important. Oh, and the MD has been on vacation for 2 weeks. Brilliant.

Rage seems to be a good cure for all of it.

I know i'm inexplicably passing out. But if you can Dx me or give me a reason to sit in your waiting room some more I will. But you don't. I have spent 2 of the last 4 days waiting in MD offices and frankly I'm sick of it.

My new cure is tequila and cigarettes and you'll have to deal with it.

God Give Me Strength

Until then I will just use Elvis Costello song titles.

OK - I will start with funny. Walking to Huttenbar last night to meet Corrine for the Sox game. See a truck for the Lincoln Meat Market. Their slogan - 'Nobody Beats Our Meat'. It made me laugh.

Another terrible date on Monday. He amused me though. Is it so wrong to sit and listen to another 'angry young man' and stare in relief that you don't have to deal with them from that moment forward? Why would you take pride in being a critical ass? You wonder why you can't have a relationship? And I quote, 'I told her what was wrong with her, but nobody ever tells me what's wrong with me.'

Quick tip: You don't shut up and you kicked a girl out for not cleaning up dog hair.

I'm a bit freaked about my health situation. I won't lie. But more for its social effects. How about the 31 y.o. divorced chick w/ a pacemaker. Or if I'm really lucky - cervical cancer, pacemaker and something involving me having to shave my head. That's sexy. Stupid body.

And now to the thing that is really breaking my heart: Lebanon. I just printed an entire section of the Guardian and some New Yorker archived articles about Hizbollah. I feel like I need to know. This is what scares me - this conflict started on the Egyptian border and has traveled all the way north to Lebanon. Towns that were cradles of civilization are destroyed. The citizens are trapped in a nightmare of terrorist groups and Israeli extremism. The people have nothing to do with it. How jacked is that?

I will have to read (probably mouth agape and with a sinking stomach) and try to figure out if I can get what the hell is going on. It might just be the beginning of the end of the world.

I told the sis' boyfriend that he should start by reading 'Exodus'. Funnily enough - in the Guardian timeline that's when the Lebanon stuff started. Tyre prison. Whoa. I actually understand the locations. But then it's things like Tripoli. It's so horrid.

If I said stop - do you think it would? Nope. That would be like stopping my drama.